Land of Confusion

Too many men, too many people, making too many problems. And not much love to go round. Can't you see this is a land of confusion. 

Does anyone ever feel completely overwhelmed by the news in the world? It just seems that the positive is outweighed by the negative. Tonight we are sitting thinking about the victims of the Nepalese earthquake, the looming executions in Indonesia, and of course there are riots, human rights, war...perhaps not so very different than the last but much more well documented.

I have overwhelming urges to help out. Nepal for example needs doctors or engineers and I am neither. I can tweet about standing for mercy or love can't wait. It of course just adds to the clutter of the twitter verse. These problems seem so big. And I am so small.

Two songs resonated with me today. One was Welcome to the Black Parade (My Chemical Romance) and the other was Land of Confusion (originally by Genesis and later redone by Disturbed- the one on my running track. For years I have done small things. I wanted to impact students in the hope that they would go on to become those who could do more. I wanted to connect with future generations through my daily actions. These songs were an inspiration to me to keep working everyday.

But today I had a different reaction. It was overwhelming. I have two sons. Some days I don't feel like a mother. I still feel too young and too immature. I am goofy. Probably not the best discipliner. Yes...I remember the show 30 Something. They seemed old and tired. I feel old and tired somedays, but then I throw my Converse on and feel like a 20 something again (and like I should jump on a plane and travel the world.) It occurred to me today though that I am no longer the only one who should be trying to change the world. Now I should be teaching the two wild boys to do the same. Perhaps this is how I will impact the world. Small things which hopefully contribute to a larger picture. It gives me a sense of hope.

This is the world we live in, and these are the hands we're given. Use them and let's start trying to make it a place worth living in.