The Fighter

It seems I had a few people worried about Mr. Cellophane. Please remember that I am writing this blog to share my feelings with the students I left at Texas A&M- hoping they can find some comfort in knowing that I have experienced feelings of homesickness and a sense of not belonging. Perhaps something similar to what they may have experienced when moving away from home to go to university. Really- no need to worry about my well being.

This brings me to my next subject. As I begin rebuilding my identity here, I am faced with a few familiarities from the past. While running today (on a treadmill- it's rainy and cold here in Melbourne) I had a song come on my running mix. It reminded me of a few years ago, running early in the morning in the summer of 2012. I would run the streets of Castlegate around 5:30 am; it was dark, lonely, and perfect. I only had Dodge to keep me company. And this was fine. I was stressed at work. I wasn't sure where we were going or how the team would make it through the next few challenging months. We had some pretty unhappy employees, who clearly needed to move forward. I had many people judging me thinking I was not strong enough to handle the challenges which were in front of me. I had many people just waiting to see me fail.

Have you ever had someone thinking you could not do something?

I certainly have, in many different situations. Perhaps this pain comes from some of my family thinking I would not make anything of myself after my mother passed away when I was 15. I fought my way through a lot of questionable times, with the help of my brother. Two university degrees, a husband, two kids later- I think I have made something for myself. The last time we went to visit my mother's grave, I felt proud standing there and knowing that she was looking down on what I had become.

The key to overcoming obstacles, to believing that you can accomplish a goal, to proving others wrong is to be a fighter. There are many mornings you might not feel like getting out of bed, not feel like going to class, going to work, etc. The challenge is to press on through the pain and accomplish whatever you are there today.

In case you are wondering, the song I heard today was The Fighter by Gym Class Heroes.

Just waking up in the morning, and to be well.
Quite honest with ya, I ain't really sleep well.
Ya ever feel like your train of thought's been derailed? That when you press on...

I am a fighter, and I will find a new identity. I knew this transition would be difficult, but I will press on.