Won't You Be My Neighbor?

Today, I met a really beautiful soul. Having Dodger at the park typically attracts people, as they are always interested in him. Today I was approached by a set of twins and their mother, who looked on the outside very different that the other parents. She had beautiful dreads and plenty of piercing. She sat down and we instantly starting chatting. She knew right away I was from the States and was inquisitive about my experience here so far. We talked about the little things of convenience that I miss (hello drive through pharmacies) and some of the things I don't miss (guns, of course among a few other things).

I got the feeling as we were talking that other parents weren't too keen on her look. But I found her fascinating. She explained to me that she was essentially homeless for the time as she and her husband and three children were living with her parents and siblings. "In between homes…" she said. She was my age and so I could relate to her about what that must feel like, considering I just made a big move and felt homeless a bit. She talked about her siblings, the mistakes she had made, and the fact that she hoped they would learn from her. We talked about her travel experience to the States and the many other places we want to travel. Her kids followed us down to the oval while I let Dodger have a run and we talked more about the challenges of raising kids. It was simple conversation. We talked about potty training, how friendly people were in the US (her words I promise), the size of the meals in the States, and where you could find organic items around here. I made mention of Petty's Orchard and she indicated she had not been there before. She was going to make plans to check it out. We talked about free things to do with the kids, since everything seems to be expensive around this area.

Of course, then I walked home and had the horrible interaction with Dragon Lady.

It made me wonder why some people are so angry in life? What could possibly make these neighbors so hateful?

Then there was this women at the park. She had seen some hard times. She was so beautiful to me, inside and out. Interacting with those type of locals is what this adventure is all about.

In Mr. Roger's neighborhood, Dragon Lady would not survive. She may appear to be "normal" but her ugliness on the inside is like a rotten apple.

I hope to run into the twin's mother again as she was so unique and so friendly…very considerate; true to herself. People are so interesting if you just give them a chance to show their true colors. I would welcome a neighbor like that.

A Few of My Favorite Things

We have now settled into our rental home and I have began collecting my favorite spots in the house to sit and think about life. Typically this tends to be wherever I might find sun coming through a window. So far, I enjoy my spot on the bed around 2-3 pm. The sun comes beaming through and warms the spot. A second favorite spot in sitting on the couch near our living room windows. This brings joy to me as I can sit and see the beautiful trees and enjoy the scenery. We also have a Butcher bird that frequents our back tree and sometimes I can see him swoop in to grab dinner. I also enjoy sitting on each of the boys' bed and looking out over the trees from the second floor of the house. Really- there is not a bad view from any of the windows in my opinion. So, favorite spots in the house have been found.

Favorite spots out of the house our plentiful. Our local parks are simply amazing. Beautiful walks, lots of wildlife, and plenty of exercise. The spotting of kangaroos is a common occurrence. The spotting of the wombat or echidna that we have recently seen is not so common so we feel quite lucky. I enjoy walking through the gum trees and beautiful park lands and listening for the kookaburra. It's simply not possible to avoid smiling when you hear them laugh. I often times wondering what they are saying. This morning when I heard one laugh I am certain he was telling the other birds to hush up. Today we discovered Petty's Orchard where the boys played in the fenced in playground, kicked a soccer ball with the other kids, crawled all over the tractor in the field, saw kangaroos resting in the orchard, and where Paul and I enjoyed a coffee and fresh apple pie. The boys did their thing independently and we did our thing…enjoyed our coffee and read the paper. It was incredibly enjoyable. The orchard itself is one of the oldest in Melbourne, founded in 1853. It's 5 minutes from our home. We are now making plans for our first trip to Phillip Island to see the Little Penguins and eventually weekends where we can drive down for a day at one of several beaches in the area.

I am still searching for employment and hope to find something soon. Otherwise, I am enjoying learning my way around, spending a lot of time with Evan while Ian is at school, and trying to figure out what to cook in this new land. I drink a lot of tea to stay warm, make a lot of biscuits/scones with fresh cream and yummy jam, and try to make the most of my time with the kids.

And Dodger is enjoying life as well. I should add that in. He pretty much goes everywhere with us it seems. He enjoys his walks and all the new sites and animals that are fun to sniff out. And of course he loves the kangaroos.

Many favorite things. Many more to discover.

You're A Mean One Mr. Grinch

Home.

Our stuff arrived and we have spent the past week unpacking, going through boxes and trying to determine what would stay packed. We anticipate being in the rental for about 12 months, so we intended to leave many things packed. Our moving adventure began July 20 with a delivery of our new table at 7:30 am. Luckily we were ready to get into the house and were up early. Later that day, another delivery of our large appliances was made. This is when the fun with the neighbors began. The man wasn't too bad at first; just generally grumpy. We went over later to their home to introduce ourselves and to let them know that the moving truck would be at the house early the next day. We share a drive way so it was important for them to know in the event that they needed to move their cars. We did not anticipate the movers to park in the driveway, but on the road instead. That is not what happened however, and thus began the emergence of the Dragon Lady and Hannibal. Yelling, hissy fits, tantrums. I had no idea that two adults could act this way. I was immediately worried. We had not met our landlord yet and I feared that these two grinches would ruin his opinion of us. We went over later that day to apologize for the movers and to offer a nice box of Cadbury Favorites. Mrs. Neighbor dismissed the gift and was equally rude to us. She told us they had lived next door to ice heads and just wanted a nice family. She stated that they clearly did not get nice neighbors. I went through my sad stage at this comment. Then I got to my angry stage. Now I am at my "leave me alone" stage. I am to the point now that if she says something to me, Angry Suzanne will make her appearance.

I was quite pleased when we did meet the landlord that he also said how grumpy they are...in fact, it seems many who have visited have had a run in with them. This is the reason that I posted my warning about parking in the driveway, looking at the driveway the wrong way, or engaging Mr. and Mrs. Neighbor in any decent conversation.

Home.

It is still home regardless of our grumpy neighbors. We had great neighbors in Texas and I really miss that concept of community. Not all Aussies are rude, we just happened to move in next door to the two that have a serious chip on their shoulder. They won't ruin the feeling I get when sitting on my couch or when cuddling with the boys in our bed.

And when we do start dealing meth, we will be sure to let everyone know.

Dodge with a Blog Down Under: I've Been Away

Howdy,

I know I have not written in awhile. I have moved to my new abode and have no internet access, so I have had to hop down the road to a local joint so that I am able to write.

There is also another reason I don't write much. Lots of adventures. This morning, for example I saw 100's of those super big bunnies again. I couldn't believe my eyes. And now that I know what they taste like, I was salivating. Crying. Yummy roo tails.

My new house will suffice. It has wood floors so I spend a lot of time looking for the slightest bit of rug to lay on. The floors are cold and I am a skinny boy with very little fat, so I need the carpet to relax on. I have Paul and Suzanne trained pretty well, they feed my on cue and let me out the back door when I give them the look. I try not to bark too much, as the neighbors are quite grumpy people and I don't want to rouse them from their cave.

In general, life is good. I get the sense that the boys are happy. I am back on nana duty at night time and spend a considerable amount of time with them until they fall asleep, at which point in time I sneak out of their rooms to my own bed for some good ole r&r.

This is the first "warm" day we have had in awhile. I am looking forward to spring time here as I know it will mean more walks and more adventures and more kangaroos!

Until later, Dodge out.

Material Girl

I have never been the type that was really into material things. We have some pretty interesting stories about how we obtained some of our belongings. I will leave those stories to another time. I am one to tie emotions to my belongings and so many of them remind me of specific events or times in my life (to bad we sold the Johnny Hangover TV.)

Now, as the final countdown to our move in is on, I find myself becoming a material girl. I have been counting down the "sleeps" until our stuff arrives. Sunday, we will move into our rental. Monday, we expect the movers to arrive with our material items. Evan will be with his grandparents and Ian will be at school. This is a good thing as they won't see me cry like a baby when our couches and beds are unloaded. I am beyond excited to see my clothes, my bedding, even my art. And I am really excited to see the boys faces when they realize their beds are set up in their room and their toys have all arrived. It will literally be Christmas in July for all of us.

It's been two months in the making. Our stuff shipped out of College Station on Tuesday, May 20. We move into our new place on Sunday, July 20 and our stuff will be delivered on Monday, July 21. Two months of living out of suitcases for the most part. Two months of thinking about how I can't wait to sleep in my bed (there is nothing wrong with the bed I am currently sleeping in, but I have an attachment to my king sized bed!) Two months of waiting and I imagine that Monday will result in many tears of joy. But also a few tears of sadness. I know that when I start unpacking some of my office boxes there will be many memories of my former employment, along with the many friends I made in Aggieland. I know that the large Eiffel Tower that my students built for me is waiting to be unpacked. I hope it made the trip ok. I know there is a few new pieces of art including an Aggie one from my office and a Texas map.  I am especially excited to see the photo album that my office put together with monthly notes. I missed out on June, so I will read those right away along with July.

For someone who does not consider material items to be of great importance, I am excited to say that Sunday and Monday I will be a material girl.

The Fighter

It seems I had a few people worried about Mr. Cellophane. Please remember that I am writing this blog to share my feelings with the students I left at Texas A&M- hoping they can find some comfort in knowing that I have experienced feelings of homesickness and a sense of not belonging. Perhaps something similar to what they may have experienced when moving away from home to go to university. Really- no need to worry about my well being.

This brings me to my next subject. As I begin rebuilding my identity here, I am faced with a few familiarities from the past. While running today (on a treadmill- it's rainy and cold here in Melbourne) I had a song come on my running mix. It reminded me of a few years ago, running early in the morning in the summer of 2012. I would run the streets of Castlegate around 5:30 am; it was dark, lonely, and perfect. I only had Dodge to keep me company. And this was fine. I was stressed at work. I wasn't sure where we were going or how the team would make it through the next few challenging months. We had some pretty unhappy employees, who clearly needed to move forward. I had many people judging me thinking I was not strong enough to handle the challenges which were in front of me. I had many people just waiting to see me fail.

Have you ever had someone thinking you could not do something?

I certainly have, in many different situations. Perhaps this pain comes from some of my family thinking I would not make anything of myself after my mother passed away when I was 15. I fought my way through a lot of questionable times, with the help of my brother. Two university degrees, a husband, two kids later- I think I have made something for myself. The last time we went to visit my mother's grave, I felt proud standing there and knowing that she was looking down on what I had become.

The key to overcoming obstacles, to believing that you can accomplish a goal, to proving others wrong is to be a fighter. There are many mornings you might not feel like getting out of bed, not feel like going to class, going to work, etc. The challenge is to press on through the pain and accomplish whatever you are there today.

In case you are wondering, the song I heard today was The Fighter by Gym Class Heroes.

Just waking up in the morning, and to be well.
Quite honest with ya, I ain't really sleep well.
Ya ever feel like your train of thought's been derailed? That when you press on...

I am a fighter, and I will find a new identity. I knew this transition would be difficult, but I will press on.

Mr. Cellophane

This morning I woke up crying from a dream I had last night. I had walked into my old office only to find business as usual. They did not notice I was there, nor did they care. I was forgotten.

I grew up feeling this way. From the time I was a kid, through my university career I felt like Mr. Cellophane. "You could look right through me, walk right by me and never know I'm there." There was not really anything special about me. I was always just a member of the team, but never the star.

When I got to Texas A&M to go to grad school and work, that really had not changed. I was still just doing my thing, some would notice. Others, in my mind, started to believe. By the time I landed in my role in Scholarships & Financial Aid, I started to feel that the cellophane was being pulled back and I was finally able to start to shine. A lot of that was because of the trust provided in me by others. Some of that was because my purpose and identity had finally started developing.

By the time I was in my last role as the Associate Director, my identity and purpose had grown very strong. I knew what I wanted to do with my life and I had a pretty good idea of how I would accomplish the task. There were days I felt like Major Winters, leading my team with a sense of purpose in the projects and tasks at hand. There were always tasks that I did not particularly like to do, but in general I enjoyed getting up every morning and going to my office. I had friends there; I had amazing students; I had opportunities to do things I had not imagined I could do. Other days I felt like Captain Speirs- running through the fire on a prayer that I would make it through the other side and live another day to lead the team. Most days, I felt like Iron Man leading the Avengers- a team of heroes pulled together to help accomplish their goal. I felt like a superstar. Finally, I was seen. I had identity. I had purpose.

Here, I have experienced a loss for my purpose and my identity.

Yes, I am a mother. But for those who really know me, you will understand that although I love my children dearly, I need more in life. I would do anything for them, don't get me wrong. But I am also my own being and don't live to serve them alone.  I respect stay at home moms. But it is not me. I saw on an email the other day a mom who signed her email with so-in-so's mom...that makes me cringe.

Chickering and Reisser would probably be proud that I could still relate to their 7 vectors of identity development. I feel that I have started over from vector 1. Developing Competence. Even Moving through Autonomy toward Interdependence (vector 3). Believe it or not, I can get myself around town a little better now.

Here I feel like Mr. Cellophane once again. I am hoping that my sense of identity will come back soon and I can be someone other than a mother. I don't mean to be negative about this experience, but I am not Pollyanna (I in fact despise people telling me to look for the positive). I am a realistic person and don't need to pretend that I am happy all the time. If I could go back, I would in a heart beat. But it's not possible. That part of my life is gone now. I am not through the grieving process, so please don't tell me to get over it.

Mr. Cellophane should have been my name...