Leadership at the Point of a Bayonet

I am not sure if anyone is actually reading this blog and if they are if they are taking anything away from it. I wanted to share what I have learned about leadership even though what I have to say might not be very interesting.

Just before I left Texas, I wrote my thoughts on leadership and what I had learned over the past few years. Many people know how much respect I have for a man by the name of Richard Winters. Some may recognize his name from the HBO show called "Band of Brothers"; others may have heard his name if discussing leadership with me. He developed leadership principles which he called "Leadership at the Point of a Bayonet" which really resonates with me. After my work experience here in Australia,  I thought it would be time to revisit Winters' principles as well as my thoughts on them from when I was still at Texas A&M. This was addressed to the team of staff I was leaving behind.

Leadership at the Point of a Bayonet 

1.     Strive to be a leader of character, competence, and courage.

Regarding character, I feel that I am pretty sound in this now but I certainly had to work on this over the years. Just like the students we work with every day, when I arrived in this office I was still asking myself “what do I want to be when I grow up?” “What are my life goals?” “Who am I, and who am I going to be?” What I learned within the first year of working with the Regents’ Scholars Program helped me start to solidify my character. I am guided by my core values and my belief system. I am guided every day to get up and come to work because I want to make a difference in the lives of students. I never considered myself to be good at anything in particular. But when I came here and was able to tie these beliefs with a career, I feel that I was able to define my character and who I wanted to be.

Competence was to follow my character development. Again, I never felt good at anything I had done. But as I grew in my identity and learned more about retention and student development. I had the knowledge and just had to put it to work. I spent countless hours in committee meetings where people with many more degrees than me discussed theory. I had no need to discuss the theory- what should be and what the research shows. I was LIVING it. I had anecdotal stories to solidify the qualitative data. Soon people started asking my opinion on things. I gave it. This was a sign that someone thought I was competent.

What I had to really work on however was courage. During the early days of my employment within this office we started the Regents’ Scholars Coordination Committee. I was incredibly timid about the situation. I was incredibly intimidated about the situation. I was facing my own personal giants. And the only way I knew to deal with them was to focus on my beliefs and what I knew in my heart was the right thing. I had one quote that would get me through the days- and it is from a song by Casting Crowns and it states: “Oh what I would to do have the kind of strength it takes to stand before a giant, with just a sling and a stone. Surrounded by the sound of a thousand warriors shaking in their armor, wishing they’d have had the strength to stand. But the giant’s calling out my name and he laughs at me, reminding me of all the times I’ve tried before and failed. The giant keeps on telling me time and time again, boy you’ll never win. You’ll never win. But the voice of truth, tells me a different story. The voice of truth says do not be afraid. And the voice of truth says this is for my glory. Out of all the voices calling out to me, I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth.”  Everyone faces giants in their own way, and each of us has to find the courage to face those giants. I faced mine by focusing on my beliefs- I truly believed that I would be able to make the difference in the lives of individuals if I continued to work hard. This is where my courage came from and over the years it has been made stronger by those who continued to entrust me to work with the students.

2.     Lead from the front. Say, “Follow me!” and then lead the way.

I learned this concept through trial and error- and not by my own but by observing others. I believe that every moment is a learning opportunity- sometimes you learn what you like and sometimes you learn what you don’t like. I had work for a boss who did not “lead from the front.” She was not in the trenches with us, and she did not say “follow me.” Fast forward to SFAID where I had the privilege to work for Joe and Delisa. BOTH lead from the front. BOTH told me to “follow me.” Delisa specifically did this through the RSSC. She did not leave me alone to deal with the politics, but stepped in and lead the way. Joe always had my back to. When he was around I felt like I could not do wrong because I knew that he believed in me. I tried to model these two individuals every day in leading my students and eventually my staff and team.  I always say that I would follow General Rudder and Dr. Gates off a cliff if they instructed me to. I would trust them (even though I never met Rudder) and follow them anywhere. I feel the same with Joe and Delisa. When you are leading, I also have learned that you will fail and you must learn to be humble when you do so. You will have critics when you are a leader. You will not make everyone happy. You will not be everyone’s friends. Learn from the experience and know that the pain will not last. The quote that inspired me to mimic this concept is from Franklin D Roosevelt:

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”

3.     Stay in top physical shape - physical stamina is the root of mental toughness. Not much to say here. Get exercise. Go for a walk. 

4.     Develop your team. If you know your people, are fair in setting realistic goals and expectations, and lead by example, you will develop teamwork.

This one I truly take to heart. I have tried my best to hire hard and manage easy. When we have hired staff on the team, I have tried to invest time in them to get them trained and developed, and then I set goals and expectations and make clear that I expect them to manage their tasks and responsibilities. I was never here to babysit staff (I do lack empathy when it comes to projects), but rather ensure that as a team we are achieving the larger goal of which they are play a part. Trust is key. If you lose trust in an employee, they begin to feel alienated. Alienated employees become disgruntled and un-invested and then typically leave. I have learned that if I set realistic goals and expectations, the teamwork follows naturally. This hopefully helps people from feeling alienated and keeps everyone moving forward together. 

5.     Delegate responsibility to your subordinates and let them do their job. You can’t do a good job if you don’t have a chance to use your imagination and creativity.

Sometimes I feel like I delegate too much. But honestly this is what helps to motivate staff I believe (I trust them so I delegate) and we actually get to work together more than if I did not delegate. Also, I find that with staff and with students if you take a calculated risk and delegate the work, they often times come back with a much more creative solution than I ever would have thought. I recognize my strengths and my weaknesses and realize that some of the staff I work with are much better at certain tasks than I am. I tell them this when I delegate and I feel it gives them confidence. 

6.     Anticipate problems and prepare to overcome obstacles. Don’t wait until you get to the top of the ridge and then make up your mind.

I strongly dislike procrastination and I strongly dislike feeling as though a process is spiraling out of control. I most like it when I can think about possible obstacles and make decisions on how I would react in certain situations if they did arise. I have tried my best to implement this with the team. This is mostly done through discussion and I believe it actually allows the team members to feel that they play a larger role than they originally perceived. If you engage team members in the discussion of anticipated problems and potential solutions in advance, it helps them feel more in control, helps them feel better if things don’t go as planned, and helps them work well together. 

7.     Remain humble. Don’t worry about who receives the credit. Never let power or authority go to your head.

This I really learned from Delisa and Joe. They were quick to give credit where credit was due. I am not big on receiving credit myself, but I did appreciate the private conversations and notes directed towards me and my work. This meant the most to me.

8.     Take a moment of self-reflection. Look at yourself in the mirror every night and ask yourself if you did your best.

I always have this dialogue with myself as I would think most leaders do. I never want to be the one who thinks I am always perfect in a role, or who has no room for improvement. I recognize that each day when I ask myself this question, sometimes the answer was no. There were days that I left here thinking I did not work and do my best for the staff today. But, I would learn from those mistakes or educational moments and then be able to attack the next day with a new attitude.

9.     True satisfaction comes from getting the job done. They key to a successful leader is to earn respect - not because of rank or position, but because you are a leader of character.

Everyone on this team should feel as though they are contributors to the larger picture. I have tried to not demand respect, but work very hard to earn it. Sometimes I had to make tough decisions or unpopular decisions, but I always felt at the end of the day that you all supported me. It is through your trust that I found my strength as a leader. 

10.  Hang Tough! - Never, ever, give up.

I hope that each one of you takes this to heart. Change is always hard and this team has been through a lot in the past few years. I believe however, that I am leaving behind the best group of people this office could ask for in a scholarship team. Each one of you has your own strengths and you all compliment each other so well. Delisa often told me what a good job I was doing, and I just kept telling her that I was just the one riding the bike, but that you all were the ones making the wheels go around. I truly believe this. I value each of you and I hope that you all know that you play a very important role in the success of the scholarship team.

This is Your Life- Part 2

It was a day very similar to my last day at Texas A&M. I wore the same outfit. It was cold and rainy again. The rain on my last day at A&M matched my mood. I was sad to be leaving my family of students and staff, a job I loved, and a supervisor I would follow anywhere. Today's rain was not the same. It was a cleansing rain as I left Deakin this afternoon. Perhaps for the last time unless I find another job at that same campus.

Yes, you read that correctly. I left Deakin after only two weeks of employment. There were several reasons why I left, but most would just bore you. What I can tell you is that the job simply was not for me. I learned a lot about myself over the two weeks. I know now that I need high expectations from a supervisor. I need to be challenged to the pushing point. I cannot work under laissez faire conditions. I need to be in a position where I can develop people, students and/or staff. I need to be able to teach, guide, train, mentor, facilitate learning, and engage people. So, as I stated the position was not for me. I will allow you to read between the lines.

Back in April I wrote a blog titled "This is Your life." This is the second part of that blog. As I got into my car to head home today, the song was on. As I stressed out about this time and how it would look on my resume, I freaked out. And then the lyrics hit me:

Yesterday is just a wrinkle on your forehead.

Simply stated and yet so true. Our days are numbered and I have chosen to already search for the next adventure. I don't want yesterday to be a wrinkle, but memories, proud moments, and happiness. And so, off I go again on a job hunt.

I don't want to disappoint any of you. I don't want you to think I am a quitter. I want you to think of me as a fighter who is still searching for my next step.

This is your life  Are you who you want to be? 

Working 9-5

Last Monday, I started my new job at Deakin University. Since then I have received numerous messages inquiring as to how it is going, and what if anything is different about the universities here vs. back at home.

To say it is different would be an understatement. To say it is better or worse than the universities within the American system would be impossible. You simply cannot compare apples to oranges.

Let's start with terminology. I will do my best not to confuse people, but it's a bit inevitable.

1. Faculty of Business and Law. What does this mean? Well, simply stated I work for the "college of business and law" however, my staff id says I am the Faculty of Business and Law. It would be a cool party trick at home I think, to whip my id out and make others think I am a faculty member in law. Certainly, it appears I may be more intelligent here than in Texas. I am a Faculty of B&L Adviser. This does not mean I advice the faculty, although that could be interesting. I advise students studying business and law.

2. Units=classes. The term "hours" is not existent here. Instead, you need anywhere from 24 to 32 units to graduate depending on your course of study. A unit equals 1 class. You typically take 4 units per trimester (I will address this soon too).

3. Weighted Average Mark or WAM= GPR/GPA. A score of 50 and above means you passed. Anything below is a fail.

4. Semester does not exist at Deakin. Instead there are 3 trimesters. T1 starts in March, T2 in July, and T3 in November.

5. Financial aid=HECS. Very different however. Instead of attempting to explain, I will include the link for anyone who is interested in learning more: http://studyassist.gov.au/sites/studyassist/helppayingmyfees/hecs-help/pages/hecs-help-welcome#WhatIsHECS-HELP.

6. Course=major in the US. Here you might study your course of Bachelor of Commerce. This is your degree. You may or may not have a declared major. You may study a Bachelor of Sport Management and then later declare a major, which could be anything from finance to interactive marketing.

Just a few things I have learned in my first week.

Now let's talk culture. The American system tends to two things different:

1. Campus culture
2. Customer service

In terms of campus culture, there is very little identity associated with the university systems here. No athletic events, no Reveille walking around, no military association, no frats, etc. Pretty much it seems that the students go to university to get an education within the classroom (gasp) and then work. They tend to live at home and it also seems that the majority of friendships happened outside of the university system. There is very little loyalty that I have seen within families as well as to which university one may attend,. Siblings go wherever and there really doesn't seem to be any competition between the universities. This could  be credited to the fact that tuition is the same across the board I believe. Although the system is about to become deregulated and institutions will be able to charge what they would like to. This could cause more competition for students.

In terms of customer service, it seems that the staff here are not as geared towards supporting the development of the individual student or assisting them beyond all means. For most, this is a job in which they advise students on the courses but do not venture outside of that bubble to advise or discuss much else. There does not appear to be much of the "how may I help you" statement as there is the "this is what needs to be done" statement. This is not simply a university only characteristic, but more of the way it is in Australia. As a waitress or waiter, you don't work for tips. You just do your job and hopefully the customer gets served along the way. Pretty straightforward.

In general, the staff in the office are all very pleasant. I am amazed at the work that gets done as they arrive around 8:30 am and leave at 5:00 pm. You don't take work home, you leave the stress at the office (if stress exists). They don't send a ton of emails but instead talk to one another even if it means walking down the hallway (gasp #2). This is taking me time to get used to, but I know I will adjust. I actually monitor the number of emails I send because they would be a bit shocked I think if I went all out American on them. I also try to be a little more reserved at this point in time so that I don't come across as intense. In short, I am still in the honeymoon stage. I will say that there seems to be a much better work/life balance. In fact, I get a RDO, or Rostered Day Off pretty much every 19 days. Work/Life balance=something I could get use to.

They ask many questions about how things are done in the States and they are fascinated by the culture of the universities. They are especially interested in my experiences with athletics.

I believe I am learning from them and them from me.

I look forward to learning more and thinking about the pros and cons about both America's and Australia's take on higher education.

Dodge with a Blog Down Under: Day of Days

Captain's Log, Star Date somethingorrather

It was a sunny day, I thought perhaps they had plans and that is why I did not go to school with them to pick up Ian.

I sat and wondered, what could be taking them so long.

I sat and thought, where did I put my toy?

Perhaps I shall walk over to my water bowl and have a drink?

Where are they?

This was my afternoon a few weeks back. Sitting and wondering why my crew had forsaken me and left me behind. These days I go everywhere with them petty much. In fact, most cafés have dog water bowls out. Everyone I meet is just so darn friendly.

When they finally returned home on that fateful day of days, I knew something was just not right. I looked at them. Panic was not on their faces. They made dinner just like always. The boys played and yelled outside as normal. But there was a scent.

Food provider had been doing something with dogs. It was only later after the small things went to bed that I learned the horrible things that had unfolded that afternoon in the school yard at Ian's school. Here is how I understood it:

Rottweiler #1 strolled into the schoolyard (he made have also been a smaller dog, a little smaller than me but that doesn't matter.) I shall call him George.

George saw Rottweiler #2 (or perhaps it was a Schnauzer? Doesn't matter.) I will call him Harry.

George attacked Harry with no concern for the children who had just come out of the school.

That is about the time that Food Provider saw what was happening and thinking that George was attacking a child, ran towards the incident. He proceeded to jump about 15 feet over a crowd of 30 or so people...screaming in horror at the dog fight...they were kicking George. Harry was hurting. His mother was screaming that he was dead. Food Provider reached in with all of his strength and miraculously separated the two, with only his bare hands!! In the process, Harry may have torn a large gash into FP's hand (or maybe it was just two small teeth marks...hard to tell.)

The school nurse came running out. Women were screaming in terror. Men were bowing down at FP's feet. They were in awe of his majestic ways.

Evidently after all was said and done, FP had to get a shot to protect him from whatever horrible things the dogs may have carried.

I am honored that I call myself the Master of this house with such a brave FP as my staff. Really. So much so that I am starting a petition to have a statue erected of him at the school I am also ordering t-shirts. If you want in, let me know.

Until later, watch your pups but know that is my FP is around all is good in the world.

Dodge out.

Everybody's Workin' for the Weekend

It's been awhile since I written. This has been intentional. The past few months have been difficult, and the past month has been different and challenging in new ways. There have been times in which I have felt very confused. Thrilled to spend time with Evan while Ian is at school and yet bored with the day. I have struggled with the fact that I want to be with the kids, be present for drop off and pick ups, be there for as many cuddles as I can and the fact that I would like to work in an office again, where I can assist people in maximizing their strengths.

I have read many blogs and articles recently about staying at home with children and being a working mother. I can say that I agree with both sides of the story, but for me there was one that resonated with me- the fact that I want my children to know I did something for myself, made a difference in the lives of others which is tied to my core values, and followed my passions. Different mothers have different passions. My passion is to help people while also being available for my children. I believe I have found a good position to help me support my passion.

I am to start a new job at Deakin University next week (as long as all is good with my work visa.) This job is supposed to be family friendly…in the sense that I was told that when you leave at 5 pm, you truly leave the work behind. I was not sure if I believe this, but after trying to get a response from people after 5 pm I believe this is really the case. Furthermore, the Aussies have many laws in place which ensure you can have a balance. For example, there are options for flexible work schedules which could result in 4.5 day weeks or 19 day months, etc. You can also "purchase" leave so that you can take more weeks off which is good for school holidays. I will explore this more after I start to determine the best schedule for our family.

What I have discovered is that in the US, I loved to work but that I really was living to work. Here I believe the philosophy is that you work to live…meaning you work so that you can maintain your desired lifestyle. I loved my job at Texas A&M, but I spent many nights awake with anxiety over a variety of issues, whether it was tied to a student situation or perhaps an impossible task. While working in scholarships and financial aid may not seem too stressful, it is interesting to know that often times a mess up could result in the loss of funding, whether it be private, state, or federal. Furthermore, when you have 60,000 students at your campus, you have many emails, phone calls and visitors which require full attention. Add donors and foundations in, along with institutional, state, and federal "visitors" or auditors, and you typically have very little time to spend on your actual job tasks. This often means that those staff are working late hours and weekends, and not sleeping through the peak times. When it comes to funding ones education, finances can be a stressor and those in the scholarships and financial aid office know this. We were often times the subject of criticism because one or more processes had run into issues, often times outside of our direct control. We always worked however to do the very best we could for our students. It was stressful. I took a lot of the stress home. Even when I was with the children I was often times thinking about little Sallie or Joe Aggie and wondering what I could do to rectify the situation or what options I could provide to help them out. I couldn't leave it at the office. Texas A&M was my life and my identity.  (Perhaps you should hug your Scholarships & Financial Aid advisor today!)

Knowing how stressed I was back at home, I was a bit worried to apply for a job and go back to work. I enjoyed my stress free mornings of getting Ian to school and hanging the laundry on the line without any major rush. However, I applied for the job, went on the interview (the only interview I have had) and was offered the position last week. If all goes well with my visa, I should start next Monday.

I am looking forward to going back to work and to learning all about the university system here. I am hoping that I will be able to use my teaching and facilitation experience one day, but for now I am going to enjoy advising students and then going home at the end of the day to my kiddos.

Nothing can replace my time at Texas A&M. With all the stress, came a lot of joy. The students that I was able to work with always made my day blessed, even when I was dealing with some of the not-so-pleasant ones (the good outnumbered the bad.)

The boys aren't to sure about me going back to work, but I have told them it is a necessity right now. I don't want to miss out on any time with them however, and so I will always evaluate the situation and be sure that my work does not become my identity. I don't want to live to work, but work to live and spend time with my family.

Won't You Be My Neighbor?

Today, I met a really beautiful soul. Having Dodger at the park typically attracts people, as they are always interested in him. Today I was approached by a set of twins and their mother, who looked on the outside very different that the other parents. She had beautiful dreads and plenty of piercing. She sat down and we instantly starting chatting. She knew right away I was from the States and was inquisitive about my experience here so far. We talked about the little things of convenience that I miss (hello drive through pharmacies) and some of the things I don't miss (guns, of course among a few other things).

I got the feeling as we were talking that other parents weren't too keen on her look. But I found her fascinating. She explained to me that she was essentially homeless for the time as she and her husband and three children were living with her parents and siblings. "In between homes…" she said. She was my age and so I could relate to her about what that must feel like, considering I just made a big move and felt homeless a bit. She talked about her siblings, the mistakes she had made, and the fact that she hoped they would learn from her. We talked about her travel experience to the States and the many other places we want to travel. Her kids followed us down to the oval while I let Dodger have a run and we talked more about the challenges of raising kids. It was simple conversation. We talked about potty training, how friendly people were in the US (her words I promise), the size of the meals in the States, and where you could find organic items around here. I made mention of Petty's Orchard and she indicated she had not been there before. She was going to make plans to check it out. We talked about free things to do with the kids, since everything seems to be expensive around this area.

Of course, then I walked home and had the horrible interaction with Dragon Lady.

It made me wonder why some people are so angry in life? What could possibly make these neighbors so hateful?

Then there was this women at the park. She had seen some hard times. She was so beautiful to me, inside and out. Interacting with those type of locals is what this adventure is all about.

In Mr. Roger's neighborhood, Dragon Lady would not survive. She may appear to be "normal" but her ugliness on the inside is like a rotten apple.

I hope to run into the twin's mother again as she was so unique and so friendly…very considerate; true to herself. People are so interesting if you just give them a chance to show their true colors. I would welcome a neighbor like that.

A Few of My Favorite Things

We have now settled into our rental home and I have began collecting my favorite spots in the house to sit and think about life. Typically this tends to be wherever I might find sun coming through a window. So far, I enjoy my spot on the bed around 2-3 pm. The sun comes beaming through and warms the spot. A second favorite spot in sitting on the couch near our living room windows. This brings joy to me as I can sit and see the beautiful trees and enjoy the scenery. We also have a Butcher bird that frequents our back tree and sometimes I can see him swoop in to grab dinner. I also enjoy sitting on each of the boys' bed and looking out over the trees from the second floor of the house. Really- there is not a bad view from any of the windows in my opinion. So, favorite spots in the house have been found.

Favorite spots out of the house our plentiful. Our local parks are simply amazing. Beautiful walks, lots of wildlife, and plenty of exercise. The spotting of kangaroos is a common occurrence. The spotting of the wombat or echidna that we have recently seen is not so common so we feel quite lucky. I enjoy walking through the gum trees and beautiful park lands and listening for the kookaburra. It's simply not possible to avoid smiling when you hear them laugh. I often times wondering what they are saying. This morning when I heard one laugh I am certain he was telling the other birds to hush up. Today we discovered Petty's Orchard where the boys played in the fenced in playground, kicked a soccer ball with the other kids, crawled all over the tractor in the field, saw kangaroos resting in the orchard, and where Paul and I enjoyed a coffee and fresh apple pie. The boys did their thing independently and we did our thing…enjoyed our coffee and read the paper. It was incredibly enjoyable. The orchard itself is one of the oldest in Melbourne, founded in 1853. It's 5 minutes from our home. We are now making plans for our first trip to Phillip Island to see the Little Penguins and eventually weekends where we can drive down for a day at one of several beaches in the area.

I am still searching for employment and hope to find something soon. Otherwise, I am enjoying learning my way around, spending a lot of time with Evan while Ian is at school, and trying to figure out what to cook in this new land. I drink a lot of tea to stay warm, make a lot of biscuits/scones with fresh cream and yummy jam, and try to make the most of my time with the kids.

And Dodger is enjoying life as well. I should add that in. He pretty much goes everywhere with us it seems. He enjoys his walks and all the new sites and animals that are fun to sniff out. And of course he loves the kangaroos.

Many favorite things. Many more to discover.