Identity. Such a simple word and yet I have taken advantage of it over the years. In two days I will feel as though the identity that I have worked so hard for will be gone. I have grown into my identity but it took me very long to really determine what it would be during my time at Texas A&M. I have had many, but the two most important ones have been that of my work identity and that of being a mother and wife.
Strength & Conditioning Coach's wife.
This was one that I became ten years ago this month (May 22). I have loved the family that came with this identity. I love being the supporter showing up to soccer games and swimming events and dragging the boys along. As of this past Friday, I am no longer this. Paul finished his job at the university and now (at least for the next two days) I am the bread winner and he is Mr. Mom (this doesn't mean he gets to celebrate Mother's Day however). I imagine this week he will be busy preparing the house for the big move and trying to wrap things up here. But I think we can both say that being part of the Strength & Conditioning family was a great experience and I know we will both miss it. I remember when Neetum came down after the last football game in the fall thinking how things would be different during the next football season. We have spent the years in Neetum before the games and have typically been lucky enough to see the guys warm up or come through and get excited before the game (depending on which coach it was determined what they did). No more Neetum...no more pregame high fives from Mike Evans. Oh well, he is off to Tampa Bay and we are off to Melbourne.
Associate Director, Assistant Director, Regents' Scholars Coordinator.
This identity is very hard to let go of. Everywhere I go I run into my students and I always feel like a little celebrity. Sometimes the identity comes with them thinking I am intimidating (please- I am 5'3" and don't even like to hurt bugs). Sometimes it meant I was their mediator or counselor helping them through whatever problem they were facing. Sometimes it meant I was able to celebrate with them. In two days this identity will be gone and I am not quite sure how I will honestly manage. For the first time ever this identity made me feel like I was good at something. Now I will be going to a place where they don't know what I am capable of, nor do they care I believe.
American/Texan.
There have been hints that I will have to give this identity up. Find a new flag, speak the language, dress the part. News for everyone on this one- I will never give this up. Learn to appreciate it or you won't be seeing much of me. I am and always will be an American and Texan first and foremost. Yes, I am stubborn.
Friend, margarita drinker, salt lover and sometimes pre-game Neetum napper.
This is my tailgate identity. This weekend we had our farewell party with our tailgate family and it was a great time. I am sad that we won't be here to continue these relationships and see the kids all grow up together (and see how many of the girls Evan will kiss along the way. The score so far- Evan-2 Tailgate Girls- 0).
So, this loss of identity all comes down to one thing. Sometimes you really do want to go where everybody knows your name. No offense to where I will find myself in two weeks, but I will miss walking into places and seeing a sea of familiar faces who do know my name, know me, know my strengths, and appreciate it all.
Be glad there's one place in the world
Where everybody knows your name and they're always glad you came
You want to go where people know, people are all the same
You want to go where everybody knows your name.
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